Psa 27:1 A Psalm of David. The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Psa 27:2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
Psa 27:3 Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
Psa 27:4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple.
Psa 27:5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
Psa 27:6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
Psa 27:7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
Psa 27:8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
Psa 27:9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Psa 27:11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
Psa 27:12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
Psa 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
I had an easy life growing up and now I realized that God literally hid me in the secret pavilion and set me up up on a rock. I was moved out into a tiny central Arizona town with a population of about 700. Most of what we did took place in a larger town 30 minutes away but when you drove home, the large Yarnell Mountain poked up out of the flat desert to the south. He place me up on that rock in the middle of nowhere to hide me and protect me from the enemy while He was preparing my wife for me. He needed me to be pure sexually and free from substance addiction in order to be used for what He has set before me today.
Because I grew up isolated from a lot of the temptations and troubles found in larger cities, I grew confident of my own merits. I gave myself credit for all I did and all I accomplished. I was a very good football player, baseball player, soccer player, and finished Valedictorian of my High School class. I grew overconfident in my own abilities to do well in everything I did and everything I abstained from doing but it was never me, it was Him all the time.
I just now found that out. The past nine years of my life have been great and awesome but they were also very burdensome and very tiring, both physically and emotionally. There were issues that my wife and I had for various reasons (my wife lived the opposite life from me)but the Lord had us together for a purpose. This purpose has become painstakingly clear over the past two weeks.
During the past nine years of my marriage, I have felt like a heavy weight was on my shoulders. I was tired beyond belief and up until just recently, I had no motivation or drive to do anything. I couldn't control what I was eating. I had no motivation to work out or keep things orderly. I wanted to serve in Church but couldn't ever bring myself to do so. All this time, however, the Lord was teaching me something.
Because He protected me and gave me a very easy childhood, I grew confident in my own abilities. He needed to break that attitude in me so He let me shoulder the load during my last nine years of marriage. I was carrying the weight, I was trying to do things myself, I was trying to lead on my own abilities, I was trying to teach on my own ideas and philosophies and so on. The weight was too heavy to bear. After nine years, I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to collapse, give up, throw in the towel. When He finally lifted that burden off of me, I learned something. I couldn't do it. I was not strong enough on my own to do any of this. During that time though, He was giving me verses, Bible stories, great teaching, and all the tools I needed to be ready for what lies ahead. He was just waiting for the right moment to use those tools.
On February 10th, He removed that weight from my shoulders. The weight that was ready to crush me was now being carried by Him. I had finally submitted all to Him and did what He told me to do, tithe a full 10% of what I made. He had given me a night school job for $400 per month so at the right moment, when He called me, I could write a $40 check and put it in the offering basket. That was all it took. That was all He needed to see that my heart was finally in the right place.
I am now ready to be used for great things by our Great and Awesome Lord. I have been crushed by the Rock but not destroyed. He broke me down so He can now build me back up in the way that He needs me in order to use me. I had a day yesterday where I knew what it was like to be Jesus. I wasn't Jesus but I was like Jesus. Everything I did and said was perfect for the person that I spoke it to. I caused everyone that I came in contact with to smile with a huge ear-to-ear smile. They got excited with every little thing that I gave them because it was perfect and from the Lord. I explained everything perfectly for them to understand and left every room that I was using in perfect order. The thing is though, none of it was me. The entire time, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink. When I was finished with school, I was starving and thirstier than I had ever been. It didn't matter though because everyone I had contact that day left their time with me full of joy. That is what people must have felt like every day with Jesus. With me it lasted from 7:40am to 2:38pm. This day made me realized what a huge sinner I am and how bad of a job I have done over the past nine years of my life as a husband and five years as a teacher. I saw these kids as Jesus saw them and not as I had been seeing them.
I have finally submitted all to the Lord and now I am ready to be used in the way that I was made. I have been transformed and can now be used by Him to bring Him glory and praise.
0 comments:
Post a Comment